21 wks

I will be 21 weeks tomorrow which is also the 1st day of 2010-the year our little one is to be born! I am really praying and looking forward to a safe delivery and bringing my baby home! When we were home for Christmas I got to hold Aspen and be with her alot and she has captured my heart like none other! We got back here and all I can think about is being back home with family! At church last night Ellie was fussing so I got her out of her carseat and she just wasn't as cute as I remember her being! I am now comparing every baby to my cute little niece and they all just aren't adding up! I feel really bad about that but I can't explain what that little girl did to me that has changed me so much! OH! and to watch Alyssa!! She is so real!!! There is nothing fake about her. She doesn't look at life through rose colored glasses but she isn't negative either. Besides David she is my best friend and I am so grateful to have her as a guide and a friend as I get ready for our little one to come. I really hope that we get to find out what the gender is! I can't wait to meet our little one and be able to have one of our own like everyone else! Bad I know but true! I don't want to ever forget Keagen but it will be nice to finally get to bring home our baby and love it with all the love that I know we posess.

18 wks

Tomorrow I will be 18 weeks and am finally starting to feel movement! Good movement! tuesday was amazing because I was laying there listening to the baby's heartbeat and I felt the baby move as we heard it kick the doplar! Can't wait for my next ultrasound. I have only gained a pound but I am finaly starting to feel like I am growing. I knew this day would come but I really haven't been looking forward to gaining any weight. I have done really good so far and I want to work really hard at not gaining more than I have to. Just wanted to update how things are going. I am always tired and like last night I slept really good but by ten this morning I was ready to go back to bed! The midwife said that i will most likely be tired my whole pregnancy if I am still tired at this stage... =( I wish I had the energy back! Oh well that means that my baby is taking energy which means it is growing so that is good. We get to find out the gender within the next couple of weeks hopefully!! I can't wait to see if we get another boy or a little girl =) Can't wait!

Aspen

My niece Aspen Adelle Banning was born 12-4-09 at 3:09 am (CT) weighing i at 7lbs 1oz and 19 1/2 inches long. I have been so excited and now I am getting in trouble for being excited! Out of all the people on both sides of the family (besides my mom) Alyssa has been the only one who has consistently reached out to me through everything-making sure that I am okay and if I need any questions answered. I hate the feeling of needing extra attention when it comes to my pregnancy but it is what Alyssa has given to me and we have drawn very close. In fact she is the sister that I never had. I have close friends like Becca and Esther and I am getting there with Tabitha but Alyssa hasn't given up on me and she understands David. She is willing to back me up even when things don't make sense. This is also my brother's first baby-it is very exciting to me because I see families and that special relationship that they have especially between aunts/uncles and the nieces/nephews and I have longed for that. I have tried with Rebecca and her kids but every time I turn around Melissa is there trying to take over and control the kids. It gets frustrating! I am the only Aunt that Aspen has and I intend on capitalizing on it. My brother will spoil my kids and I will spoil his. He is the only brother I have and I want to keep that relationship strong not only between us but also between our kids and us. It makes me to finally start getting excited about having our own. If Alyssa can do it after everything with Keagen, so can I!! Thanks Alyssa for being a great example!!!